How to properly cook a turkey for whiskey drinkers

Thanks to Kit (my good friend and co-deli worker)and the internet for this one.

Go buy a turkey 

1. – Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) OR JD 
2. – Put turkey in the oven 
3. – Take another 2 drinks of whiskey 
4. – Set the degree at 375 ovens 
5. – Take 3 more whiskeys of drink 
6. – Turn oven the on 
7. – Take 4 whisks of drinky 
8. – Turk the bastey 
9. – Whiskey another bottle of get 
10. – Stick a turkey in the thermometer 
11. – Glass yourself a pour of whiskey 
12. – Bake the whiskey for 4 hours 
13. – Take the oven out of the turkey 
14. – Take the oven out of the turkey 
15. – Floor the turkey up off of the pick 
16. – Turk the carvey 
17. – Get yourself another scottle of botch 
18. – Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey 
19. – Bless the saying, pass and eat out